Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Measles case confirmed in eastern Iowa - KCRG

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do some people prefer watching movies than reading novels even if they are both based on the same source material (book)?

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Trump's sons distance themselves from new Trump-branded crypto venture - ABC News

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

Scottie Scheffler's Wife Meredith Scheffler Gets Strong Message From PGA Tour Golfer - Athlon Sports

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Hollywood actress popular for hit ’70s shows dead at 95 - NJ.com

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

"D Gukesh Was Blindly...": Magnus Carlsen's First Reaction After Loss To Indian GM - NDTV Sports

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How can I move on from my ex?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

New Orleans Saints sign RB Cam Akers to one-year contract - New Orleans Saints

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Can ancient music sound modern?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Powerful solar flare erupts from sun triggering radio blackouts across North America (video) - Space

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”